2020最新的笑话段子，幽默滑稽，进来开心下

1、告诉你一个小技巧，在微博上发照片，一定要发那种P得连你爹妈都不认识的照片，这样跟人吵架的时候有美女底气，还保护了自己，当对方拿着你的照片人肉时，发现没人认识这女的。

Idliketotellyoualittletrick.WhenyoupostphotosonWeibo,youmustsendphotosthatyoudontevenknowyourparents.Whenyouquarrelwithothers,youhavetheconfidenceofabeautifulwomanandprotectyourself.Whentheotherpartytakesyourphotoofhumanflesh,nooneknowsthewoman.

2、记得有一次坐高铁，高铁上不是不让抽烟吗？但是一到站，总有几个老烟民下来猛吸几口，刚才下来和一个老大哥抽烟，乘务妹子不解地说：烟有什么好抽的，真搞不懂为什么抽烟？老大哥潇洒地弹掉烟头，看着妹子意味深长的说：为了等一个劝我戒烟的女人。

RememberatimewhenIwasonthehigh-speedrailway,didntsmokingbeallowedonthehigh-speedrailway?Butassoonaswearrivedatthestation,therewerealwayssomeoldsmokerswhocamedowntosmokeafewmouthfuls.Justnowtheycamedowntosmokewithanoldbrother.

Thestewardesswerepuzzledandsaid,whatsgoodaboutsmoking?IreallydontunderstandwhyIsmoke.?Bigbrothersmartflickoffthecigaretteend,lookingatthesistermeaningfulsaid:inordertowaitforawomantoadvisemetoquitsmoking.

3、张三昨天在街上碰到一个美女，碰巧从美女口袋里滑落了一个遥控器，张三捡了起来，刚准备还给她，去看见美女满脸紧张，一脸娇羞的看着张三，就连呼吸也变得急促，张三秒懂，朝她会心一笑，兴奋地按下按钮，结果旁边的地铁站炸了，请问张三什么罪。

ZhangSanmetabeautifulwomaninthestreetyesterday.Shehappenedtosliparemotecontrolfromherpocket.Shepickeditupandwasjustabouttogiveitbacktoher.

Whenshesawherfacetense,shelookedatZhangSanwithshameonherface,andevenherbreathbecameshort.ZhangSanunderstoodit,gaveheraknowingsmileandpressedthebuttonexcitedly.Asaresult,thesubwaystationnearbyexploded.WhatsZhangSanscrime.

4、当你的财力配不上自己的需求时，要么就提升自己的能力，要么降低自己的需求，这才是最正确的三观，而不是像你这样，一上来就砍价1000，你这样容易被喷。年轻人还有机会，现在反省还来得及。

Whenyourfinancialresourcescannotmeetyourownneeds,youshouldeitherimproveyourabilityorreduceyourownneeds.Thisisthemostcorrectthreeoutlooks.Itisnotlikeyouwhohagglefor1000atfirst.Youaresoeasytobespurred.Youngpeoplestillhaveachance.Itstimetoreflect.

图源网，侵联删